Every woman needs a tribe of loyal friends:
- The kind that show up with Dr. Tito’s or hit redial when you go ghost because they know something is bothering you.
- Listen to you time and again get something off your chest until it finally dissipates.
- Just “know” you’re a bit off and dig it out until you spill it.
- Would drop everything for you if you needed them.
- Tackle you to the ground for granny panties with a kangaroo pouch.
- Hijack your worst photos and create beach towels, coffee cups, wine labels, and shot glasses.
- Laugh with you and laugh at you until you’re physically sick.
- Do stupid shit and find stupid shit entertaining.
- Most importantly, great friends will always re-focus and work to understand why you can’t, won’t, don’t, and accept you just the way you are knowing when it’s time you need to help yourself.
I am blessed to have these friends. Some made it into my picture video of our annual biddy convention in Rhody, and others did not, but they all exist in different forms (daughters, nieces, not blood related, but should be), and I’m eternally grateful for and to each one of them.
The movie video depicted what we are about as we round 3rd base. My son commented, “disturbing,” which doesn’t disturb me in the least because I know he truly appreciates how twisted I am and the geniune fun we have. Our daughters tell us they wish to have a group of friends as us, and don’t hesitate to hang out with us when our cult is gathered. So, within all the inappropriateness, shenanigans, liquor-related idiocy, lies a powerful bond of friendship, and a healthy avenue to enjoy life because we too have: endured deaths, heartbreak, tragedy, deception, divorce, corruption, asshole teenagers, caustic work environments among other things. Add to that, delivering and raising an average of 3.0 children each (some husbands included) into kind and decent humans in a crazy-ass part of the U.S. is no easy feat.
Even the most decent people are breaking down with what has transpired in our world in recent months/years. A good example was a post from a teacher friend. Fran, a melanoma cancer survivor shared, ” Grand total of 8 shootings yesterday by nightfall. Baltimore – let’s get it together. In one f’ing day. Where is our humanity.”
It’s heartbreaking what is happening each day, and I think, hasn’t Fran done battle enough not to have to worry about locking down her classroom or taking her son to a park without random shootings? I see her fleeing to Scotland.
So, I say in order to survive, I need to be an Aunt Joyce. My Aunt Joyce. Teaching your 12 year old niece how to make Sangria on Christmas Eve. The fun & naughty Aunt. The one who innocently bought the ping pong balls because she truly thought the kids wanted to play ping pong (not beer pong). The one who would drive up to the casino at midnight and stay up all night playing the slots. The one who cracked a toilet tank, flooded a bathroom and made it look like a CIA crime scene because she didn’t know how to turn off the water valve. Also, the key representative on the birthday party bus who stood outside the bus waving on the ferry because of a bathroom visit and didn’t wake up until the party was over and the bus was disembarking for the return trip. Surround yourself with the Aunt Joyce’s of the world who bring laughter to your heart.
Be you because the right people will gravitate to you. It’s the only way to survive and love your life in this world. I’ve watched people sitting on top of their pedestal one day, and the masonry repair the next day for that pedestal knocked down. Don’t even think anyone’s better than you because we’re all going out the same way we came in – with NOTHIN’. Live your life between the dots, use sentence enhancers, master a decent jello shot, crack a toilet tank, flip the bird behind an asshole’s back, but be a good and decent human. Then you are enough.
The Word According to Be Hoxie (Hok-see) 