Falling in Love Is Like Owning A Dog- Part 1

I will be a reader at my Brother’s wedding today, and I received said reading so I could familiarize myself with it beforehand. When I started reading it, I said to myself, Oh, dear Lord they have got to be kidding.

Mistake #1 – they chose me to read this.

Mistake #2 – was giving me time with it. If they had any good sense at all, they would’ve given it to me at the rehearsal.  Oh wait!  I missed the rehearsal along with the groom-to-be because I had to take him to an emergency care center.

Falling in Love is Like Owning a Dog by T. Mali

On cold winter nights, love is warm. Oh yea, and so are hot flashes

It lies between you and lives and breathes Oh, and snores like a buzz saw

and makes funny noises.  Oh, like flatulence?

Love can wake you up all hours of the night with its needs. Oh, Sweet Jesus I’m not even going there

Love can give you a sense of security:

When you’re walking down the street late at night

and you have a leash on love, Oh, or shackled & drawn

ain’t no one gonna mess with you. Oh, ok killer -taco bell dog

Love needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy. Oh, NOT touching this one

Love does not like being left alone for long. Oh, because you’re looking at what happens

But come home and love is always happy to see you.  Oh, I give it a month then it’s back to the old chew toys

Love may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, Oh, or accidentally throw something that perhaps makes contact with your head

but you can never be mad at love for long. Oh, really?  Apparently someone doesn’t watch 48 Hours…

Love leaves you little surprises here and there.  WHAT???? No! No! No!  There are Depends so you don’t leave little surprises here & there. Matter of fact I was so worked up about both of you leaving little surprises, I bought you his ‘n her Depends as a wedding gift.

Love makes messes.  What now????? You already left little “surprises!!!”

Sometimes you just want to get love fixed.  Oh, like what? Therapy?

Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper

and swat love on the nose, Oh, or a salad bowl to the back of the head

But then love gives you big kisses,

And you laugh at the little things.

Sometimes love just wants to play.

Running you around the block, leaving you panting. Oh, bless you two because I can’t make it to the refrigerator without panting

It pulls you in several different directions at once,

or winds around and around you, yea, Oh, just like a swirling vortex of insanity

until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

And love brings you together.

People who have nothing in common but love stop and talk and greet each other on the street. Where the heck do you live? I don’t know of any such person in the Northeast. In fact, when Northeasterner’s see another human approaching, their neck swallows their head like a turtle to avoid any eye contact whatsoever.

Most importantly, love needs love, and lots of it.

And in return, love loves you and loves you and never stops.

My Sister-In-Law to be is so sweet and geniune, I will read this today MINUS my snarky inserts because she has endured enough with this whole wedding fiasco.  Holly is a beautiful soul – always graceful and kind, the quintessential lady, and that’s no easy feat when a) marrying a man whose family suffered the loss of their Mother too young, and b) marrying into our family period. Holly is who she is, and is embraced by all for exactly that reason. 

However, I cannot promise I won’t roll my eyes, start laughing uncontrollably or long pause on some of those lines.  I can’t be who I’m not either.

Stay tuned for Part 2…Falling In Love….crutches, scooter, wheelchair, half a thumb’s up.