A dear friend’s Mother is the author of my title, “You Kids These Days Are So Carefree.” Her Mother’s doing time at a long-term care facility, and the kids she refers to are…
Source: “You Kids These Days Are So Carefree” – “Screw The Golden Years”
Month: July 2016
“You Kids These Days Are So Carefree” – “Screw The Golden Years”
A dear friend’s Mother is the author of my title, “You Kids These Days Are So Carefree.” Her Mother’s doing time at a long-term care facility, and the kids she refers to are us – all in their 50’s, edging towards grand parenting and designing our tiny houses during cocktail hours. We the “kids” are sandwiched between caring for elderly parents and continue to be the go-to for our young adult children.
Sure we could be like our parents and save for that rainy day, but our generation has seen too much with what happens to our elderly who saved for the rainy day. In a blink of an eye a $600,000 retirement fund vanishes in 3 years or less in a long-term care facility, only to become a medicare recipient for the remainder of their days which are long and endless because of some physicians who plug for “quantity” versus “quality” of life. BULLSHIT to that I say. Signing up for the *Hemlock Society because the only time you’ll catch my dimpled ass in a Depends is at a Halloween party or disco dancing in funky wedges and a too short dress.
*Hemlock Society USA was a national right-to-die organization founded in 1980.
Okay, so my generation is more carefree than our parent’s generation was, and we won’t dispute that fact. It stems from the wisdom of knowing and having seen too much. Access to TOO MUCH SHITTY INFORMATION is only a click away. Gone are the days of my favorite way of ignorance is bliss, and bliss it was.
While laying out on lounge chairs in my garden popping off a bottle of champagne this past Mother’s Day, me and a friend came up with our own list of how we managed to raise 3 children each trying to justify our apparent “carefree” behavior. Naturally religious and maternal guilt played a part: Sacrifices we made, the menial jobs we did so we could stay home to raise them; and you’re damn right we’re gonna practice the art of being carefree now if we have the health and means to do so.
THE THEN – In order to stay home and raise our children – We stuffed envelopes, typed bills, contracts, estimates for small businesses, State tax forms data entry for $75/box (or a penny a line), glued Christmas ornaments to cards, ran home daycares, typed Home Inspector reports, raised 3 children by day-fed & bathed them and went to waitress for 6+ hours by night. Then we got full-time jobs as soon as the last kid was in school.
Babysitters – We only asked our parents or hired when we had a wedding or event to attend that children weren’t invited. We couldn’t afford a sitter nor trusted anyone enough.
Housecleaning – Even with multiple jobs, we did it ourselves.
Manicures/Pedicures – If we ever had the time, we did it ourselves and it was usually for a special occasion.
Hair cuts – Cut at home for years by a friend who was a hair dresser and my hair-do usually resembled Mrs. Pynchon from an ancient sitcom called, Lou Grant.
Carpet cleaning/window cleaning/power washing/painting/wallpaper – all performed by us. We never paid anyone for something we had the capability of doing. We were taught by our parents how to paint a room and cut in trim and windows with oil paint nonetheless….not that easy latex shit that wipes up with water.
Clothing – Hand-me-downs usually from family members, averaging 3-5 years behind in style. So, I was either dressed in preppy pastel Lacoste/Laura Ashley or looked like Wednesday of the Addams’ Family in black depending on which Sister-in-law’s cast offs I inherited. My daughters were usually throwing up Laura Ashley matching dresses and trust me…not by choice.
Formal attire – We would hit up each other’s closet if we had to go to a wedding/funeral. We continue that tradition today.
Window treatments – We watched HGTV “Design on a Dime” and made our own out of chicken wire, batting, t-pins and material or we sewed some out of sheets and tablecloths.
Stains & Hems – We are stain masters and were taught how to hem by family or Home Economics – the class they cut out and then realized these kids haven’t a clue on basic “life skills” unless they’re ordering take-out, high-five’ing the cleaning lady, dropping clothes to a laundromat, dry cleaner, etc.
Family meals – We cooked them and ate together every night. Take out and frozen dinners were a treat especially for the cook.
Liquor- Right around age 40, we Mothers began taking our medicine regularly, and we continue that group therapy.
What we didn’t have or do: Botox, eyelash extensions, waxed eyebrows & who-ha’s, tanning beds, Blue Apron Meal service, nannies, cleaning ladies, pure barre, personal trainers, massage therapists, facials, manicures/pedicures, new cars, exotic vacations (ours usually included a tent, a raft & a beach chair). We didn’t have “Me” time. This is probably why most women are plagued with IBS – they never had time to take a shit in peace for years.
What we did have: Dirty little kids running all over the yard and rollerblading, broken wrists and ankles, an inventory of freeze pops or popsicles, a stockpile of snacks hidden in the dryer, a trashed house, a dead lawn, constant laundry, food replenishing and cooking; the need to scrape together enough money to buy Christmas presents and have Birthday parties.
Yes, we are the “You kids are so carefree” generation because retirement to us is enjoying what we have now. We’re not stupid – the Brinks truck will not be following our hearse. Hell, my kids are turning my ashes into a plant pod and nobody’s spending any money on me after I’m dead anyway. So, take the trips, buy that new car and hit the road, spend time at that summer cottage, see new places, meet new people, and by God have that daily cocktail hour of Vitamin V and Vitamin C and just sit your ass down and watch the flowers bloom and the hummingbirds flitter. Another dear friend’s Mother, Peggy and a wise Mother of 7, used to say, “Screw the golden years.” These are our golden years. We’ve done enough and have been enough.
None of us plan on spending retirement propped up in a chair waiting for everything: Minimal Family and living friends to visit, meals, toileting, showering….ultimately for our eternal rest. So, treat yourself to regular manicures and pedicures (with a spiked seltzer in a paper cup), eyelash extensions until the glue seals your eye lids shut, a massage of your dimpled ass, lush vacations that don’t include a tent, eyebrow tattoo’ing since they fall out when you get old (and relocate into a mustache & chin Billy Goats), and a most definite splurge – A SQUATTY POTTY – ergonomically aligned with your colon for effortless evacuation.
The Moral Compass Needle Spun Off & Impaled My Eyeballs
If you’re reading this, thank you for the return visit. My children reminded me that I haven’t annoyed you with a blog post since 4/20, otherwise known as National Marijuana Day. I…
Source: The Moral Compass Needle Spun Off & Impaled My Eyeballs
The Moral Compass Needle Spun Off & Impaled My Eyeballs
If you’re reading this, thank you for the return visit. My children reminded me that I haven’t annoyed you with a blog post since 4/20, otherwise known as National Marijuana Day. I’d love to say I’ve been stoned for the last 3 months, but I’ve learned that my low blood pressure and pot don’t make for a fantastic voyage. “The Children Are Baking” post explains how that all works out. However, I may just have to take my chances on Election Day.
Life really is like a roll of toilet paper – the closer to the end, the faster it goes…..shit. I’ve been very busy, but if you ask me exactly what I’ve being doing, I’ll tell you laundry because it’s literally the only damn thing I’ve been able to complete start to finish. The analogy – the world is going to shit and is in a perpetual spin cycle via toilet or washing machine. That’s pretty much how I’ve felt the last few months and that same vibe is emanating off most people I come in contact.
Oh, the things I keep….and the synchronicity of them all….
After Christmas 2000, I purchased two Hallmark limited edition globe ornaments that had the twin towers inside. Macy’s was practically giving them away for $4.00 each, fully equipped with a stand, and it still beats the shit out of me why I bought them. Sure I like puttzing around the city, but I certainly didn’t have any emotional tie for buying them. I gave one to my brother who lived/worked in New York for years. That Christmas was the last those towers would be standing.
When I was an elementary school secretary in 2001, I wrote an email to our then Assistant Superintendent after the 9/11 attack about how the newly installed door camera was only a band-aid and false sense of security because when I went to “buzz” someone in: a) you couldn’t tell if it was a human, b) 2-4 people would piggyback onto the 1950 Polaroid semi-zombie doing the buzzing, and c) all these visitors were traipsing through the kindergarten wing to make their way to the school office way down the hall in Bum-F Egypt. She didn’t like me, and the feelings were more than mutual.
Now 15 years later and Sandy Hook, there is a door monitor posted there all day running driver’s licenses through, printing visitor badges, monitoring a security camera system, and there are plans for the school offices to be relocated near the entrances.
In January 2015, I clocked over 20 hours during the holidays tapping out a 5-page long-winded letter painfully explaining the “emotional contagion” effect within our School District and Town as a whole. The only backers in agreement with me were the individuals with a conscience and moral compass, and we went straight to the top with our valid findings and concerns in regards to an investigation, only to be ignored or slowly dismissed. However, when I made it to the top, I met the Board of Finance Chairman. I shall name her Mizz Mouth because within seconds of being introduced she informed me she was also a lawyer to which I retorted, “Well, I’m a secretary.” All the while thinking to myself….hunny this shit went down on your watch Mizz Lawyer, and you’ve been the Chairman of Finance for our town for how many years? Clearly our findings had validity because Mizz Chairman of the Board of Finance aka Corruption submitted her resignation not long afterward and our Town’s 1st Selectman pulled the EZ-pass card of a town charter whereas the Town Governance and Board of Education are separate entities. I had to sign a waiver. Call me crazy, but you present facts of actual corruption, miss-use of resident’s tax money, the self-serving individuals serving on boards – all of which could be verified, and I’m asked to sign off on a waiver as if I’m the criminal. The only thing I achieved was a crash course in political veiling. As the French Prime Minister said, “Get used to incompetence of our leaders.”
The overall point of the letter was to enlighten the self-serving members of our Town Government and Board of Education to open their eyes, acknowledge the corruption, make it transparent, to help heal a very broken town.
*Self-Serving: I use this term often because it depicts those individuals who serve for the betterment of themselves versus that of the whole. They are individuals in it because they want something, they need to gain something. They are not humble and kind. They cheat, lie, are dishonest, and are able to justify and resolve any wrong doings within their heads to achieve their end goal.
I now see it as one of my hundreds of premonitions of what was yet to come. I even attached a video clip, “If we Could See Inside Others’ Hearts” to drill my point home and can be viewed below.
I compromised myself by speaking to someone of high authority about a racial profiling incident only for the individual affected to be patronized, hushed, and lied to right along with me. I know this travesty has gone on for years, but now it’s at a combustive stage all over the United States.
At Christmas, I wrote my blog post, “24 Hours and It’s Over.” A story of truth with the hope of lifting the stigma of mental illness and suicide. That was followed up by two posts written by a young man incarcerated for Heroin addiction.
Every week since there has been either a suicide or a heroin overdose, many of which were classmates of my children, children of people I’ve grown up with or a friend’s child. I began writing this blog post just a day prior to finding out Heroin took yet another victim….a family friend’s son.
Below is the video clip that accompanied the letter.
Below is an excerpt from that 5 page letter:
Emotional Contagion: “The tendency to express emotions similar to and influenced by those of others; also, the phenomenon of one person’s negative thoughts or anxiety affecting another’s mood.”
Every child should be entitled to a healthy school environment, and the nurturing help and guidance they need. The focus needs to be evenly distributed insuring NO child is ever left behind. Our educators should have the ability to focus on ALL students – regular education, special needs; identify the cutters, the attempted suicides, the ones using marijuana and heroin to escape their anxiety and mental disorders, children of alcoholic and abusive parents who try and run them over with a car, children with drug addicted parents and/or are incarcerated and/or broken homes, children who have lupus due to stress disorders, depression due to autoimmune diseases, parent suicide and/or death, sibling suicide and/or death, parent/sibling with cancer, and children who are struggling to understand their sexuality. Yes, these are descriptions of actual children residing in our town that no one wants to talk about, and I can get each one of them to write about how they survived, and which district employees impacted their lives in order to achieve survival. These children can be easily overlooked because they are sometimes average to good students yet are fighting internal battles each day; and wouldn’t necessarily reach out for the help they need because that would mean disclosure of dysfunctional families/parenting with subsequent reporting to DCF, use of illegal substances to self medicate, etc. Let’s also please include the regular education students who are entitled not to be left behind that also need the instruction to bring them to the next level of their education.
Every employee should be entitled to a healthy work environment; a place where they know what is expected of them; a structure they can work within that uses respectful communication, please and thank you, and showing appreciation for employee dedication and contribution. After all, our united goal is supposed to be for: THE BENEFIT OF THE CHILDREN. As the 4 minute video relays, each person has life events going on, both happy and sad, but work should be a place you are able to compartmentalize the personal, and focus on the job at hand. It seems like everybody is just trying to survive in a me, me, me world and overlooking the human aspect of trying to understand first, taking all things into consideration before reacting or passing judgment. Poor morale = no loyalty = poor productivity because there’s an attitude of no one cares anymore, and that is not a work environment conducive to educating children. After all, they do live what they learn.
Nobody cares. Nobody listens. So, that and much more is what I’ve been processing since National Marijuana Day, and those are only tiny snippits of things that have been bothersome. I won’t be voting for either criminal in the Presidential election because I’ll be staying in bed to pray that day for the younger generations if Drumpf or Killary get into office. The way I see America’s two choices:
Drumpf – Over 3,500 law suits, bribery of the Florida Attorney General and Texas Governor over Trump University. “When I want something, I get it. When I call, they kiss my ass.” Wow…..weeeeee no ego there. Mr. Andrew Tesoro, made a short video and tells how Donald Trump cheated his architecture firm out of thousands of dollars when it designed the clubhouse at the Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor, NY. Drumpf and and his “mob” brought in all the other vendors and tradespeople who worked on the golf club and they were all subjected to renegotiation of their fees after the job was complete. In my world, that’s called a threats and bullying. Drumpf is a power hungry, egotistical, narcissist with a thick coating of racism and bigotry. Need I say anymore?
Killary – Illegal International deals, murders, war-mongering, hundreds of classified emails that the FBI admittedly announced that she broke the law, treason, countless felonies. Need I say anymore?
I have become extremely appreciative and ultra sensitive to symbolism of our flag, the Pledge of Allegiance, to our veterans, and the freedom we used to enjoy. I’m sorry to say I took it for granted. I was sitting on my daughter’s porch this past weekend in upstate New York and heard “America The Beautiful” playing on the church bells a couple of blocks over, and I grabbed a kleenex probably knowing what’s coming down the pike. I’ve been coined a ‘witch,’ and I fully accept that. I’m a good witch 99% of the time lending a healing hand or ear for others. I’m a bat-shit crazy witch when faced with self-serving, lying, cheating, dishonest humans. That is not to say I haven’t made a shitboat of poor decisions and paid the price. They were all valuable life lessons leading me to exactly where I want to be and a better person because of it. Our world is so technologically advanced, yet so uneducated in appreciation for the magnificence of our world, it’s energies and what lessons lie within. I’m thankful for looking at it with fresh eyes of enlightenment.
My generation is on the back 9 in life. We fear for our children, the generation starting families, and for the children born into this angry, unraveling, and unsettled world. You can go on any number of social media sites to pull off tens of thousands of posts/statuses/quotes depicting the pulse of raw emotion. The simple, unfortunate truth is there is good and there is evil, and the scale keeps tipping to evil because each generation “lives what they learned.” Remember, we were all born with a clean slate.
If you get a minute listen to the lyrics of Tim McGraw’s song, Humble and Kind, the lyrics address the basic principles of being a decent human being.
Teach your children to love who they are no matter what. Everyone was born into this world with a purpose for however short or long that time may be. Learn from the “butterfly child.” Learn from a little girl named Lindsay who suffers from a rare disease called progeria. Watch the bond between David ‘The Beast’ Douglas, Semper Fi Ex-Marine/weight lifter and Lindsay. Racism is learned. Hate is learned. UNLEARN it.
Lastly, love yourself and be happy with being the crow because THINGS AREN’T ALWAYS AS THEY SEEM.
The Word According to Be Hoxie (Hok-see) 